All Is Lost. All Is Lost!

The horrifying rumours that have been circulating around the HSBC Arena are...true. In a Buffalo News exclusive, we can inform you that Jay Byers, general manager of the Buffalo Sabres, has confirmed what every true fan of the team has feared from the moment the puck dropped on opening night.

Rick Nash is no longer untouchable.

We told you yesterday that Byers was spotted eating with Philadelphia's Thayne Bezanson, and that he met with New Jersey's Rob Ryan, but both meetings were explained away as being related to disgruntled winger Martin Havlat; that might still be true, but now we have to call everything into question. Nash currently has 35 points so far, making him the highest point producer on the Sabres so far, and would naturally draw a lot of attention if he were ever put straight up on the block. Even so, the announcement that the incessant requests to make Nash a Flyer/Devil/Blue Jacket/Penguin/whatever would no longer be confined straight to the special filing cabinet is a big move in itself.

Of course, it has an effect that will be obvious to everybody in the ITC - fans of the Sabres are already displeased. There was an outcry of protest against it on the official team message board, as well as on countless others, and early reports indicate that a pair of letterbombs were intercepted en route to the HSBC Arena (not to mention the envelope full of human faeces that was badly handled by an intern who is now currently in therapy). Sabres owner Thomas Golisano said earlier today that, while the response was probably "a bit excessive, it was the Nasher. Only morons hate the Nasher." It should be mentioned, of course, that Nash is going into free agency, and with the Sabres bumping up against the cap anyway, trading him or a fellow franchise player like Marian Hossa might even have been necessarily.

But who are we to be impartial? Fuck Byers, fuck Byers in his AIDS-infested ass with a cactus. All hail Nash! All hail Nash! Oh, Nash can you see, in the dawn's early light, some bitches for you to beat on!